I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
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When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
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Naked. naked and bneed help.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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