i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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