At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
