those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
