actually, I'm a sock model
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I had to cum in my sink.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
