We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
