its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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