I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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