a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Sorry about my life...
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
