we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
this hospital has no fireball
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
