dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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