I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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