yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
