Acid is not a monday night drug
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
