I feel like abortions should bother me more
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
