peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
