butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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