It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
