Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came on her dog
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize