I think my fart just growled at me.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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