Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
