Will you blow on my dice?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
