Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
