Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
