At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
