im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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