His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
