Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
