so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
