They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
