i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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