Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
