when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
cat food counts as protein by the way
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
