..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
