They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
