We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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