ADVERTISEMENT

• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!

  Fav 4 2485 3085

  share tweet
  

• (810): View more from Michigan

  After last night I still want u

  (810): View more from Michigan

  But please keep that on the DL

  Fav 5 1075 1242

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (316): View more from Kansas

  I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper

  (785): View more from Kansas

  He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.

  Fav 32 3700 1370

  share tweet
  

• (914): View more from New York

  Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.

  Fav 15 922 2179

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (563): View more from Iowa

  She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...

  Fav 48 1532 6506

  share tweet
  

• (207): View more from Maine

  winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.

  Fav 8 2936 1086

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (917): View more from New York City

  Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.

  Fav 17 982 6797

  share tweet
  

• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.

  Fav 10 5381 1193

  share tweet
  

• (845): View more from New York

  I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge

  Fav 25 1224 6443

  share tweet
  
• 

  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (631): View more from New York

  Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.

  Fav 5 1497 2999

  share tweet
  

• (905): View more from Ontario

  Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.

  Fav 45 9452 3040

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (613): View more from Ontario

  New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.

  Fav 3 2082 937

  share tweet
  

• (319): View more from Iowa

  She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.

  Fav 9 1171 526

  share tweet
  

• (561): View more from Florida

  He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."

  Fav 5 1191 622

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (720): View more from Colorado

  It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least

  Fav 4 359 158

  share tweet
  

Randomize