Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Two words: blizzard sex
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.