You're completely useless in the revolution.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
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