you win again, gameday.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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