You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
