She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
