you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
