Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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