My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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