They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
