We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize