i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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