There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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