Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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