Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
