I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
My cat gives me a boner
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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