We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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