great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
She needs sedatives and a leash
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize