is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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