hotel room ftw
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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