His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
