what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
