sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
