The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
